Latest Tweets:

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fallontonight:

jaycspencer:

The Book Of Drake

'Nuff Said

Jimmy can’t handle some of your #MyWeirdFamily tweets!

nbcsnl:

Some corrections from the gang at Fox & Friends:

Ukraine was not Frasier’s brother on the show “Frasier.”

Game of Thrones is not an adult version of musical chairs.

There is no such restaurant as “Ruth’s Chris Christie’s.”

Jackson Browne is only one person.

Malaysia is not the female version of Asia.

Neal deGrasse Tyson does own a sandwich shop called “Quizmos.”

You cannot abbreviate the Supreme Court to spell SCROTUM.

Michelle Obama has never done porn.

Hong Kong is a region in China. Not a video game from Nintendo.

“Vaping” is not having sex with a vacuum cleaner.

Michael Strahan is not leaving to go be in “Good Morning Vietnam.”

Crimea is not related to Queen Latifah.

Pop Tarts do not cause “splosions.”

Boeing is a company. Not a sound effect.

Pharrell is not a “stylish hand sanitizer.”

Chicklets do not grow up to be roosters.

Chris Christie was never in the show “Three’s Company.”

Infinity pools have a limited amount of water.

Garfunkle is not Garfield’s black cousin.

The Chile Earthquake is not a bold new product from Dairy Queen.

Don Cheadle does not appear if you say “Cheadlejuice” three times.

Joe Biden’s office is only sometimes a’-rockin’.

Lifesavers aren’t medicine.

Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.

Marvin Gaye liked women.

Nancy Pelosi is a human woman.

God loves figs.

Noah is not “found footage.”

Captain America was never a U.S. President.

The periodic table is not about “lady stuff.”

nbcsnl:

Some corrections from the gang at Fox & Friends:

Ukraine was not Frasier’s brother on the show “Frasier.”

Game of Thrones is not an adult version of musical chairs.

There is no such restaurant as “Ruth’s Chris Christie’s.”

Jackson Browne is only one person.

Malaysia is not the female version of Asia.

Neal deGrasse Tyson does own a sandwich shop called “Quizmos.”

You cannot abbreviate the Supreme Court to spell SCROTUM.

Michelle Obama has never done porn.

Hong Kong is a region in China. Not a video game from Nintendo.

“Vaping” is not having sex with a vacuum cleaner.

Michael Strahan is not leaving to go be in “Good Morning Vietnam.”

Crimea is not related to Queen Latifah.

Pop Tarts do not cause “splosions.”

Boeing is a company. Not a sound effect.

Pharrell is not a “stylish hand sanitizer.”

Chicklets do not grow up to be roosters.

Chris Christie was never in the show “Three’s Company.”

Infinity pools have a limited amount of water.

Garfunkle is not Garfield’s black cousin.

The Chile Earthquake is not a bold new product from Dairy Queen.

Don Cheadle does not appear if you say “Cheadlejuice” three times.

Joe Biden’s office is only sometimes a’-rockin’.

Lifesavers aren’t medicine.

Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.

Marvin Gaye liked women.

Nancy Pelosi is a human woman.

God loves figs.

Noah is not “found footage.”

Captain America was never a U.S. President.

The periodic table is not about “lady stuff.”

Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and Jamie Foxx plays ‘Never have I ever’ game on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

(Source: blondiepoison, via castlefreak005)

brbsoup:

I have seen the future.

brbsoup:

I have seen the future.

(Source: best-of-imgur, via castlefreak005)

nostalgicdisphoria:

this show is gold

(Source: cuterinacoffin, via castlefreak005)

(Source: 90s90s90s, via collegehumor)

whitepaperlyrics:

Justin Timberlake - Drink You Away

whitepaperlyrics:

Justin Timberlake - Drink You Away

gotemcoach:

Bill Russell to LeBron James, via Craig Sager:

Hey, thank you for leaving me off your Mount Rushmore.  I’m glad you did.  Basketball is a team game.  It’s not for individual honors.  
I won back-to-back State Championships in high school, back-to-back NCAA Championships in college.  I won an NBA Championship my first year in the league, an NBA Championship my last year, and nine in between.
And that, Mr. James, is etched in stone.

#GotEmCoach

gotemcoach:

Bill Russell to LeBron James, via Craig Sager:

Hey, thank you for leaving me off your Mount Rushmore.  I’m glad you did.  Basketball is a team game.  It’s not for individual honors. 

I won back-to-back State Championships in high school, back-to-back NCAA Championships in college.  I won an NBA Championship my first year in the league, an NBA Championship my last year, and nine in between.

And that, Mr. James, is etched in stone.

#GotEmCoach